***Originally posted Nov. 23, 2007, on Myspace.com/smartin88***

The eyes are laid upon you, seeing nothing but you,
From head to toe, everything else is only a blur.
Hoping that one day, in my arms you will stay,
But fully knowing, that the sort will never happen

Why cant i shake these, the feeling i promised to hold back,
Are they too strong, or is it punishment?
I said these words, that came from my mouth they did,
All i want to do is see you happy, so happy you shall be.

Nothing more than friends, something i didnt really want,
But what else would have happened, the way i wanted it to?
Of course not, it never works like that,
How can things ever go right, for the one who plays by the rules?

Heart and mind, in a constant struggle for power,
One wants something, but the other says its not happening.
Which to choose, mind or heart,
Out of the two, which is telling me the way i should follow?

In a broken state of mind, wanting something i cant have,
Will it ever be, me and you?
My heart says it has to happen, but my mind disagrees,
Of course with me as smart as i am, i know which one is right.

Do i always need my head to be right, but it is,
Does my heart always need to be second in the race, it will.
Why do i have to suffer to make others happy, thats the way i am,
Will i ever get what i want, most likely a no.

Why do I always have to be right in these kind of battles, ones that affect not only my life, but those around me. What i want and what is right is always two different things. I can never bring myself to hurt another to bring own personal gain, that will never happen. Maybe that is why my only destiny is to live in the shadow of pure nothing 

***Originally posted August 18th, 2007 on Myspace.com/smartin88***

To take the truth as it lies, unfiltered and in its pure, no one really likes. To hear it full force, breaks the very being of you down, yet why is when we try to lie or twist the truth to pritect someone, they take it even worse? Can we really take the truth without getting hurt? Will the human race ever be just to one person or the other. Can we ever be fair in life to where we get the same treatment.

What ever happened to the saying, "do unto others what you done unto you..." or maybe, "No good deed goes unrewarded...". Im still waiting for my reward. Maybe too many good deedsd go out, but people dont seem to relize that and take it for granted. So they just shrug it off like nothing at all happened. So you do the deed, thinking that one day, in the very near future, when that scene happens but the role is reversed, that soul would do the same to repay the debt. Only in the movies my friend...cause i have yet to see that happen. Of course there are exceptions to the rule, but the overall look isnt looking good. This is what we are letting go by us without changing it, this is what were passing on to the younger generation as we work, taking them under our wings to teach them the basics of working hard. That no matter how hard you work, or many good deeds you give and expect half of them back, that it will never happen, so you should give up on others, and only worry about yourself.

Sad to say, but this is the case. We have only begun to help ourselves before others, to heal our wounds instead of aiding others, fulfilling the non basics we need to survive before we help out someone in the just need to live and go on. What a world we live in today, if you ask me, that doomsday clock, should be expired by now. And if you have no idea what im talking about, then why dont you get off your lazy ass off that computer, stop watching your stupid myspace and facebook to see if someone commented you and pic commented 50 times or else your gonna cry, and do some research, read a freaking book. Get a job, go for a walk instead of driving, dear god, just try to do something that requires an effort